|A Future Sex Addict
||[Feb. 11th, 2008|12:46 pm]
How does one get out of being attention starved? At what point does it become possible to get some of this intimacy I'm craving? Being a sex addict may sound silly right now, because by most definitions I have never had sex, but I can see the paths that could lead me there.|
Is my present lack of sex with others evidence to the contrary? Well, first you have to ask yourself whether it involves a choice on my part. I certainly have the money to go after prosititutes if that was what I wanted. I don't know where any are, but that is hardly a hurdle for an addict. I live next to, nearly on a college campus. I am reasonable attractive and reasonably close to the age of students there. Both of these seem to suggest that I am not going after one night stands and available promiscuous sex.
The pessimistic part of me tells me that I am too ugly or I just haven't had the right opportunities. I hope those aren't the reasons that I do not have sex with people constantly. I would like to think that I have principled reasons. My last girlfriend told me that my status as a virgin scared her. She said it would be too much pressure to be my first time. This leaves me in the position of not really having a choice when it came to that relationship.
Perhaps it is not so much that I am ugly, but that I put off all of the wrong social signals. Would I want to be the kind of person described by the news as "local lothario"? I know that I have emotional needs that I am not satisfying. Awareness is a first step, but I what I need are healthy solutions.